What self-doubt means

What self-doubt means

You can’t do this.

Are you crazy?

People aren’t going to like this. You aren’t a big name. Your following isn’t very big.

No one cares! What you have to say and create doesn’t matter. Other people do this much better than you do!

You have so much to work on yourself. Wait. Learn more first. Read another book. Go to another class. No yet.

Stop. Don’t do this. You aren’t ready.

These words flood our minds when we decide to do something new or anything uncomfortable.

There have been several moments for me like this over the past few days as my Love Affair friends and I launched our HUGE new project and announced it out into the world this week! (You can check it out HERE!)

Our brain tries to protect us from the unknown. It tells us things like: you’ve tried this before and it didn’t work. What makes you think it will work this time? All signs point to STOP! Do not proceed. Do not pass go!

Literally, this is the way your mind and mine is programmed to work.

The brain’s job is to work, not only efficiently, but also safely. When something doesn’t work or hasn’t worked in the past or was too hard last time around, it says, “stop, for the love of all that is holy–this is not efficient and/or safe!!”

It thinks there are lions and tigers and bears up ahead.

So did the Lion in The Wizard of Oz. But there wasn’t those things up ahead. His courage was up there, waiting for him. He had to push through his fear and worry when he wanted to stop.

And you and I need to, too.

You self-doubt doesn’t mean it’s time to give up, go home, and hide under the covers and eat a bag of chips or three ice cream cookie sandwiches in a row (or whatever numbing/buffering of choice is yours).

What self -doubt actually means is that you are ON TO SOMETHING!!

If your brain is freaking out, you’re doing something uncomfortable and, quite possibly, very awesome!

Here are three ways to get okay with self-doubt:

1. Be willing to uncomfortable.

Being uncomfortable is the pathway to uncovering the you that’s waiting for you to step into your truth. She’s been hiding under a bunch of stuff. You just chipped away a layer by doing whatever you just did.

That can feel pretty exposed whether it’s in front of a lot of people or not. It’s also a little bit painful sometimes. It’s going to be ok, though!

Allow yourself to actually feel whatever you’re feeling about wanting to quit and doubting yourself. Don’t resist it. Don’t choose cookies or chips or ice cream to dull the sensation.

Let it flow all over you. No fighting it. Those feelings will usually pass if you allow them. Studies show those feelings pass often in only 90 seconds if we are willing to feel them instead of resist them.

Often we resist them by shaming ourselves, telling ourselves not to feel them, telling ourselves we should feel something different. Sometimes we resist by numbing and buffering through food or shopping or withdrawing back to the place we just came from, retreating instead of shining. Fearful instead of courageous.

It’s ok. Feel that instead of resisting it.

2. Get present.

Take some deep cleansing breaths. Sit tall. Breathe in through your nose as deeply as possible. Put your chin down. Feel a cord pull the top of your head up so your spine helps you sit tall and courageous.

Feel the breath go down into your stomach and energize your arms and your legs.

Let that oxygen go to your brain and wake up your senses.

Pay attention to your breathing.

If another thought comes in your head, release it. Let it go.

If you have more thoughts come into your head and you realize you’ve become distracted from your breath. It’s ok. Come back to your breath. No judgements. Say, Oh! I was thinking something else. Back to my breath.

This takes practice. Some days will feel easier and flow better than others. That’s ok, too. Some days you’ll have to keep saying, Oh! I was thinking something else. Back to my breath. It doesn’t matter how many times it happens. Return to your breath each time.

This is a practice.

When you are present you can ask,

“What do I hear right now? What do I feel right now?

Take another deep breath. And another. Feel the sensation of your breath coming in through your nose, filling your body. And then letting it go.

In the process, letting all thoughts go.

Start with practicing this for 1-3 minutes. Build up your practice. Add another minute each week or every couple of days.

My friend, Brooke Snow, calls this “the breath of life.”

And it is. It brings us back to center. Back to what keeps us alive and kicking and waking up again and again each morning. (And back to Jesus. Who gives us breath, everyday.)

3. Let all future thoughts go.

Most of our worry and fear come from future thinking. We’ve forgotten to be present. We are no longer in our body. Our body and spirit have separated in a way. Inspiration leaves. That connection to Heavenly Father via our spirit has been stifled because we are in our minds in a future place.

Heavenly Father said, ” house divided shalt not stand.”

What if the house He is talking about was is own house? Our body?

When we get future or past focused with worry about future events or fear over past occurrences we are no longer living in the present. Our body and spirit have stopped communicating.

Let the body and spirit come back together through the ‘breath of life’ and your confidence will return and your self-doubt will leave.

No matter what doubt comes your way, don’t give up. All those thoughts, words, feelings happen when you’re about to do something new, different, or big…just like they have for me as we’ve announced Love Affair University this week!

It’s ok. The doubts make you human. It’s what we do with those doubts that matter.

Do the doubts stop us or do they give us even more reason to move forward?

No! Why? Because the work we are doing in Love Affair University matters! It’s already changing the lives of the women who have joined! And it’s barely been live for a full 24 hours!

What if we had let self-doubt stop us??? Women could still be stuck! Still be wondering. But they aren’t. They are excited. They feel new life and hope.

Let your self-doubt be your guide saying:

“You are on a GREAT path not the wrong path!!

Try out these three steps in this little note to you; allow yourself to be reminded of who you are and invite your fear and doubt to flee away.

You can do this!

To self-doubt reminding you you’re onto something big and awesome,



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