Our Fear is that Our Mistakes Will Define Us

Our Fear is that Our Mistakes Will Define Us

Our fear is that our mistakes or decisions, even ONE, will define us.
I’ve felt this before.
Often.
I felt it today.
I’m in a group I love.
I share pretty vulnerable things with this group of people. I love these people. 
Sometimes, I share things and then my brain starts to make it mean all kinds of (not nice or helpful) things about me.
I start to wonder if it was a mistake to share or to put myself out there.
(Brains are good at freaking out. Mine is. If you’re human, yours most likely is good at freaking out, too.)
When I make a mistake like dropping food on the floor or
Make a wrong turn on the way somewhere
I don’t make those things mean anything about me.
I’m betting you don’t either.
Why do we make some mistakes a big deal?
Because some mistakes feel differently than other mistakes.
Mainly, because of what we make those mistakes mean.
What if we responded to every mistake the same?
What if we had the same story about every mistake?
Or decision?
Or every time we put ourselves out there?
What if we treated all these things the same way we do picking up food off the ground…
“Oops! Oh well.”
Pick it up, put it in the sink and move on.
When we make a wrong turn…
“Oops.” Turn around or find a different route.
We don’t make it a big deal or tell ourselves dropping food on the ground or a making a wrong turn while driving defines who we are.
We could have the same response to ever other decision, mistake, or perceived failure in our life.
What would that feel like if the response was simply “Oops. Oh well. Moving on. No big deal?”
No big or little story.
For me, it gives me more freedom to be myself.
I let up on all the judgements and…
I have more fun.
I let myself be seen and known by more people which means I develop deep and meaningful relationships.
What if your mistakes didn’t define you?
What would you do that you’re not doing now?
I used to be very self conscious about what I wore
Now, I have fun putting things together, experimenting
And not making it mean anything about me.
It seems small. The little things add up to be big things over time.

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