Does parenting get easier?

Does parenting get easier?

“Does parenting get any better? Any easier? Please tell me it does…” says the exhausted, sleep deprived parent of three kids under three years old…

This is one of the most asked questions I get from parents of young children.

They hope I’ll have an answer that will let them know that all their problems, fears, worries, lack of sleep, exhaustion will eventually all go away.

Their eyes plead with me to tell them they will recover from parenting some time in the (hopefully) near future.

My answer:

It doesn’t get easier or better.

It gets different.

The easier and better part is totally up to you.

The easier and better part can happen for you right now.

You don’t have to wait for that part.

When kids are young, the job of parenting is very physically taxing.

You work to keep your children alive, make sure they don’t run into the street, and you hide things from them that should not be eaten, etc.

You pick them up, carry them, move them, help them, teach them, run them to the bathroom, change them, dress them, feed them, play with them…

Everything is big action, all happening non-stop while you wish for a teeny, tiny, little nap.

As they get older everything turns more emotional.

Parenting becomes more a job of listening, sorting through feelings, teaching how to handle friends and unkindness, helping them step into courage and forgiveness, showing them new perspectives and how to handle disappointment.

Here’s the secret, though…

if you’re not loving parenting now, you won’t love it more when they become teenagers either.

It doesn’t happen that way.

You don’t get to a destination or stage or phase and flip the switch to loving having your life or your children.

It’s something that’s a choice.

You and I…we get to decide.

We get to decide what to think about parenting.

We get to decide how we feel about our lives.

If we don’t arrive at some point in parenting and it suddenly gets easier or happier or better, what does happen?

It’s true.

The challenges change.

Circumstances change.

WE are the one constant throughout every experience, challenge, and opportunity in our lives.

Our mind and our perspective stays with us…

if you are miserable parenting little children, why would you be happy parenting teenagers?

You could be happier now, if you change your mind.

You get to choose how you want to think and feel about them.

You get to decide what stories you tell yourself.

It’s not about…

•your circumstances
•whether parenting is hard or easy, physical or emotional, fun or challenging
•who threw a temper tantrum at the store today
•teenagers being sassy pants and throwing shade

All of that doesn’t matter.

What matters is what’s going on inside our own heads.

Think thoughts that help you show up as the person/parent you want to be in those situations.

That’s what all of this has always been about…

You.

Who are you becoming?

To showing up as the parent you are meant to be,

Davina

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